LIFE

salam

random posting. random thoughts.


semua orang nak jadi the best. in life, in study, in relationship.

tapi, berbaloi ke kita korbankan kebahagiaan sendiri, demi puaskan hati orang lain?

maybe kita xperasan perkara ni, tapi cuba duduk diam-diam and think.

pernah tak kita try nk buat something sesungguh hati demi someone, semata-mata nak dia pandang kita and say "YES THAT'S PERFECT"

tipu klu xpernah ada.









depan mak ayah, kita try nak jadi THE MOST PERFECT son/daughter to them.
depan kawan-kawan, we're trying to be THE MOST PERFECT friend ever to them.
depan cikgu/lecturers. kita try nak jadi THE MODEL student to them.
depan boyfriend/girlfriend, we're trying to be THE MOST PERFECT LOVER one could have.
maybe satu hari nanti, depan husabnd/wife, kita nak jadi THE PERFECT SPOUSE he/she ever had.




tapi, bila kita cuba terlalu kuat, terlalu bersunggh-sungguh, kadang-kadang hasil yang kita dapat bukan yang kita nak. kadang-kadang hasil daripada semua usaha kita, sebenarnya lagi teruk. betul x?


aku just nak semua bangun, bukak mata, kenapa perlu seksa diri semata-mata nak puaskan hati manusia yang xpernah, takkan puas hati?


NOTHING IS PERFECT, NEITHER THINGS NOR HUMAN.










aku pun selalu cuba nak jadi perfect, kepada mak ayah kawan-kawan boyfriend, tapi apa yang aku dapat? a look of disappointment, a disapprove head shake, judgemental eyes.


buat apa bunuh keyakinan diri sendiri demi kebahagiaan orang lain? tak ke kita perlu letak kebahagiaan diri sendiri dekat depan? okey salah. kebahagiaan diri sendiri AFTER parents' happiness.













kadang-kadang, aku rasa diri ni worthless gila. nobody deserve me as a friend. i'm a useless friend. and i KNOW i am.


cuma i know, ada kawan yang ikhlas kawan dengan aku. ada yang tak. i'm trying to sort everything out.

dah nak masuk 20 tahun ni, macam-macam terpikir. kahwin, kerja. HAHA yang penting kawen la apa lg :P pergh boyfriend pun takde, ada hati nak kawen. haish haish














KONKLUSInya, jangan cuba nak jadi perfect, sbb mmg xkn capai tht PERFECT standrd wpun kita dh cuba macam2. ingat, takde sape yg sempurna, things or human. alam ciptaan ALLAH sahaja yang perfect. :)














we're dealing with issues. it's hard when both of us know that there's still "love" between us. cuma isu trust, and setia. -_____- which both i suck. he's very good in both. hush. susah susah.